625, AKA Rueben: The Interview

Hello, and welcome to yet another interview I'm conducting. Only this time I should call it "Interview with an anti-hero" perhaps...

"Hey, kid, as much the title "625, Anti-Hero" sounds impressive, can we get a move on? I gotta get dressed up for an award's ceremony. Ol blubber butt's being awarded the "Award for Galactic Excellence."

"AGE"?

"Yep. I tried making cracks, but he stuffed me in a cupboard, so...

Okay, okay. First question. Why did Jumba make you with a Brooklyn accent?

"...er...it's complicated. I like to chalk it up to-"

RUEBEN.

"...it was an accident. He was trying to give me a certain voice, messed up the formula because his hands were shaking with anticipation!"

Did that happen often?

"More often than you'd think! He messed up the whole evil polarity forumla entry when he was doing Ace, and the entire 400 series was during a bad time in his life-wait, this is supposed to be about ME! Now ask ME more questions!"

Is there any kind of sandwich you DON'T like?

"I never met a sandwich I didn't like."

Peanut butter and tofu?

"Healthy and crunchy if you make it right!"

Fish sandwiches?

"I used to like them, but Gantu kinda has this thing about me making fish sandwiches, one time I tried to surprise him and-"

I sense you're about to go somewhere no man is meant to go. Next question! Who is your FAVORITE character in all of the Lilo and Stitch-

"Aw, Gantu. He may drive me nuts, but I love the guy. And that girl's something special."

And do you hate anyone?

"627. What's he called now? He has too many names, it's hard to keep track! He used to be so MEAN to me! Although I admit he's turning things around...but to be honest, the one black hate I have is for a certain individual who divulged my sex life. I have sent him a dead fish in his mail."

That was YOU?! Nosey's so ticked off, Rueben!


"Ask me if I care, do I look like I care, do I look like I care?"

...no.

"GOOD."

What do you do for fun?

"Make sandwich towers. The best part about my artwork is you get to eat it!"

Eh-ha-ha-ha! Final question. What's up with you and Angel? You two still angry with each other?

"I'm cool, kid. Cold as ICE."

...

"Too much?"

Yeah. Being melodramatic is MY thang. Making sandwiches is YOURS. Comprende?

"Uh, si?"

Right! Mahalo for the interview, Rueben.

"No prob, kid. And uh...thanks again, for...for everything."

No biggie! Oh, here, I carry a comb with me, I got it in my back-here! Go ahead.

(Swish-swish!)

"Woo! I clean up GOOD! I'm getting the ceremony taped, so be sure to watch it later, kid! I'm gonna look so amazing in my tux!"

Gantu's got a tux prepared?

"Yeah, but it's one size too small in a certain place, if you know what I mean."

...you're not videotaping him from the front of him, are you?

"I can't wait to measure the size of it. It'll be "Youtube" gold! See ya later, kid!"