Mass Effect PoP: We're on a DIPLOMATIC Mission!

We're On a DIPLOMATIC Mission!

The Macedon System in the Artemis Tau Cluster held the planet the crew needed to locate Ms. Dantius's sister…Sharjila, a rather poisonous world. The entire atmosphere was a mixture of pleasant oxygen…and ammonia. The surface lined with alumina and huge sulfur deposits, its odd animal life forms based primarily on silicon, not carbon, and fine silica dust breezed over the greenish/brown pastures of the planet every hour. Of course, I say "breezed", when really I mean would TEAR INTO YOUR FLESH LIKE A HOT KNIFE THROUGH BUTTER.

So good luck getting there without a sufficient amount of armor on. Ohhh no. They were not going helmetless for this experience. All of them readied their respective armor, Liara putting on a deep black set that she looked over, sighing slightly at. "…not really my thing." She admitted as she scratched slightly at the space above her shoulder. "I don't suppose you could acquire some armor in, say…blue? White, maybe?" She asked of Requisitions Officer Perkins.

"I'll look for something, Ms. T'Soni." The elderly human said with a nod of his head, giving her a firm handshake, T'Soni surprised the fifty-year-old man had sucha strong grip. Meanwhile, Shepherd spoke to Navigator Charles Pressly, who was standing by the elevator, looking very reluctant to let his baby the MAKO back out again.

"Look, don't take this the wrong way, sir. You're the best choice to take over for Captain Anderson, I'm just not sure about these nonhumans on board." Pressly intoned with a faint air of…distrust.

"Pressly, we're all on the same team. Don't tell me you doubt my decisions?" Shepherd asked with a raised eyebrow as Pressly folded his arms over his chest.

"All due respect, that's what they said about Nihlus. Look how that turned out. Killed by someone who was "on the same team". Literally struck down from behind. Humanity's got to handle its own problems! Saren attacked one of OUR colonies. WE should be the ones to stop him. Humans. Do we really need alien help?"

"You never look a gift horse in the mouth, Pressly." Shepherd reasoned. "Asking for help isn't a sign of weakness. Nobody can do everything on their own."

"I guess you might be right…I'm just stuck in the old ways, y'know?" He admitted. "I've been this way ever since I first joined the Agincourt. We were one of the first reinforcements to arrive at Elysium after the Blitz hit. I saw you there that day…you didn't see me, but I saw you there, standing tall over that destroyed wall, smoking gun in your hand, everyone looking up to you. That image stuck with me, sir. So much so I requested to be transferred here. I felt it was a sign from Him."

"Him?" Shepherd asked.

"Allah. He's a Muslim…and by the way, I finally got your prayer rug." Officer Perkins added, Lucas handing Pressly a lovely red rug with another cheery smile as Pressly took it in his hands and beamed.

"I LOVE the texture! It feels soft as satin. I had this custom-ordered for my afternoon prayer. These old knees are getting weaker, I need something nice and soft to rest on." Pressly chuckled.

"Interesting." Shepherd admitted as he nodded at Pressley and headed over to the group, Tali typing into her omni-tool as a small holographic map was brought up with a "PING". A small green dot showed the facility the signal had come from, where the pirates were stashing the kidnapped asari Dahlia Dantius. "So, what have our scanners revealed about the facility?"

"There's four sniper towers surrounding the facility in a small valley. As such, you have to descend down from multiple mountainsides, with the front entrance having a miniature barricdade set up before it. You go inside and you're a…how is it you humans say…a "Sitting duck"?" Tali inquired.

"We've scanned the interior as well. Luckily they didn't put a lot of resources into their electronic defenses. Here's a layout of the entire facility…" Garrus said, typing into HIS omni-tool, Tali's hologram fading so his could be revealed. "These pirates are slavers. They kidnap people and sell them on the intergalactic black market. They're dirty, filthy rats." He muttered angrily as images of pirate slavers showing off naked, hands-tied-in-front-of-them prisoners to small crowds on the streets of the Terminus system planet Omega. Photo after photo showing the same slavers, all grinning with pride, their captured prizes's faces sunken and hollow like skeletons, stripped of hope.

"…pigs." Grey muttered hatefully. "Disgusting PIGS."

Garrus nodded. "You'll get no argument from me there. Tali came up with a plan. I was all for a straightforward approach…using the MAKO to blast the snipers out of their towers and storming the facility, but they might end up killing the hostage. We don't want that, right?"

"So your plan is…?" Shepherd asked, Garrus looking over at Grey.

"We park out of their line of sight and the Asari and you can enter through the front. Say you're paying for Dahlia's release. The kid will cloak the rest of us with his little powers and we'll make our way to the top of the facility, then sneak in through the infrastructure above. There's a service entrance leading to power conduits and ventiliation systems, a failsafe in case the other entrances from below get damaged or don't open." Wrex remarked.

"From there, we slink down into the facility, find Dahlia and give her what we'll give you…" Liara added as she pulled out something from her belt pouches…little glassy pills that glimmered slightly in her gloved hand. "Pills to protect from what we'll administer into the ventilation system."

Wrex grinned. "Then we take her out, steal everything that isn't nailed down…"

"And leave the planet with Ms. Dahlia and the pirates locked-up, bringing them to the Citadel for our reward and dropping the pirates off with C-Sec. We'll see how they like being at the mercy of someone else for a change." Ashley intoned, slamming her fist into her palm.

"And in case THAT doesn't work, Wrex and I will use the MAKO to provide cover from the outside, assaulting the facility and drawing attention." Kaiden added as he put a hand on his chest. "And should things get really bad, we'll call in the Normandy to assault their base with an aerial attack. But if that does happen, you need to get out of there with Ms. Dahlia fast."

"Sounds like a plan." Shepherd said, face beaming with pride. "Everyone into the MAKO. We've got so much to do, and not a lot of time."

…

…

…

…Shepherd and Liara stood side by side, arms held in the air as the pirate snipers at the front barricade to the base trained their scopes on them. "Relax, relax! We're not here for a fight!" Shepherd called out. "Ms. Nassana called on us to negotiate? For her sister's sake?"

"Oh, really?" One of the pirates spoke up, a Krogan that turned to his human and asari comrades, sounding slightly amused. "What did she tell you?"

"To pay whatever it took. She's that desperate." Shepherd said. "But we want to make sure Ms. Dahlia's not dead. Could we speak to her?"

"Ahhh, I see." One of the Asari aiming her sniper rifle at them remarked, nodding a bit as she thoughtfully tapped a finger on the "chin" region of her helmet. "So THAT'S what this is about. Alright, alright…they can come in. We far outnumber them, after all, and CLEARLY outgun them. All they've got are those two peashooters on their hips."

Oh, if only the pirate knew how off she was. Grey and the others were hiding in the hilly crest just before the sharp dip into the valley where the base was, all in the MAKO and waiting for him to speak. Or rather, sing. He held a hand up, concentrating. It would be difficult to think up something that could cloak them all, but-

He cringed. "UGH. I DO know a song that would work, but…it means I have to sing from an artist I have a…complicated relationship with."

"You mean a guilty pleasure, right?" Ashley chuckled.

"A woman named "Ke$ha"." Grey cringed. "Can't believe this has to come from her, but…"

He took in a deep breath.

"Perhaps you didn't notice me, I'm invisible, I can't be seen

Maybe I'm just not like everyone…

I fade a little more each day, nothing to get, but less to say,

It's hard to feel when all you feel is numb…"

With that, the crew in the MAKO looked at themselves, gasping. They could see themselves but…nobody else. It was as if their entire form had just…pop! Vanished into thin air. There wasn't even an outline or a vague transparency. Nothing like that…pure invisibility.

"I've NO idea how long it'll last. Let's get out of the MAKO and head to the back of the facility, then rapport up to the top of the base and sneak in." Grey reasoned. "Garrus, you and Tali lead the way, you're better with technology than I could ever be. Think you can hack into the ventilation system fast enough?"

"With a little bit of luck." Tali said as Garrus gave a chuckle.

"Luck, she says. Heh."

They swiftly exited the MAKO, popping out the top hatch and slinking down the loooong stretch to the valley below, none of them saying a word, silent as the grave as they inched past the guard towers. The snipers nonchalantly glanced about at each other, one of them sighing as she stretched.

"By the GODDESS this is boring. Those idiots out there clearly didn't bring any reinforcements to the surface. They're sure Ms. Dahlia's our hostage and they won't try anything that might endanger her. So of course they won't try anything stupid."

"Maybe yes, maybe no. They might try to double-cross us to keep the money and anything else we've got here."

"That's it…keep talking, you big, stupid idiots." Garrus thought inwardly as they climbed up the back of the base on a small ladder in the back, moving slowly and cautiously, careful so as to not make any noise. He licked a bead of sweat off the side of his cheek, hearing only the pounding of his own heart and his harsh breaths as they finally reached the roof of the base, Tali kneeling by the entry hatch. She glanced at the sniper towers…nope. Still not looking their way. Not even in the slightest.

Sighing slightly in relief, she opened up the hatch, descending down the ladder into darkness as the others began to follow after, Grey being the last one in as he closed it behind them, just in case. The air inside the service entrance was musky and reeked badly, like something had crawled inside and died…but at least it wasn't ammonia and oxygen they were surrounded by, meaning they could take off their helmets once they reached the catwalk that led to the ventilation system.

Garrus approached the control console, his gauntleted hands moving over the buttons and keypad before him as he smirked. "Oh, really? Just Omega-2 Encryption? I've seen better security from MALL COPS." He remarked as he began typing away into the keypad, Shepherd and Liara sitting at a table inside of the faintly-grey-walled main hall of the pirate's base. They had their pills in small pockets on their persons, a suitcase with quite a few credits tucked under Liara's arm as the Asari sitting across from them raised a nonexistent eyebrow up.

"So…you're here for Dahlia Dantius, is that it?" The asari inquired, her pirate crew standing nearby, all armed to the teeth with shotguns as several Krogan scratched at their nether region, grunting a bit. "Excuse my compatriots. The ammonia atmosphere outside gives them crotch itch. Makes them verrrrry irritable. Not even a redundant nervous system helps."

"I can relate. As part of the N7 hazing ritual I had to wear the same suit for a week during training. It felt like my privates were on fire." Shepherd added, Liara blushing a bit at this kind of talk as the Asari pirate chuckled, shaking her head back and forth, faint bluish lips spreading into a smile.

"What exactly has Nassana said about Ms. Dahlia?"

"Her sister was taken by you and you demanded a ransom. In fact, several. We're here to pay whatever it takes to retrieve her, but we'd like to know she's not harmed." Shepherd intoned as the asari captain nodded and held up a communicator, speaking into it.

"Oh, Dahlia? Did you happen to hear all that?" She asked with a faint mocking tone to it. "Would you be so kind as to tell these nice people how you're doing?" The asari went on.

"And where she IS, if you wouldn't mind? Can't you bring her out, please?" Liara inquired as evidently Dahlia's voice cracked to life over the communicator.

"I'll be right out."

A few minutes later, Dahlia was walking out from the back room, dressed in dark armor herself, hands behind her back as she stood by several of the pirates, another pirate holding a shotgun slightly up to her head. Dahlia nervously looked off to the left, biting into her slightly purple lips. "They've, uh…been treating me well. You don't need to worry. How, um…that is, how much money has my sister sent?"

"We've got 100,000 credits here as a sort of down payment. The pirates will get the rest when we've been delivered to our ship, which we'll order to be parked a ways from this facility. You let us go with her, you'll get five times that amount, we'll be out of your hair, and you can all retire to some nice resort planet." Shepherd reasoned. "But Ms. Dantius said that if you tried to KEEP her sister here and refused to give her up, or killed us, she had a backup plan. We're to contact our ship every half an hour and it's been fifteen minutes already. If we don't call them, they're to assume it all went wrong and they're to blast your facility to kingdom come. Better to die than to live as a slave, right Ms. Dantius?"

Shepherd saw pure fear come into Dahlia's face as she gulped nervously, cringing. "Er…um…th-that is, I…uh…"

"You're quite clever." The apparent captain remarked, rubbing her chin as Liara held up a chocolate bar, one of several which had the pill they were to take in it.

"Here, you look like you haven't been eating well. A little dark chocolate will do you wonders." She offered to Dahlia, who took the candy bar and chomped away at it, Liara and Shepherd eating their own as the asari captain frowned a bit.

"Hope you brought enough for everyone."

"You'll have 500,000 credits. Buy your own f—kin' chocolate." Shepherd remarked with a frown. "Now come on. Just let Ms. Dantius go. I would think this, combined with what Nassana already gave you, is more than reasonable."

"Nassana was NEVER reasonable. She's an ugly, hateful woman, believe me." Dahlia muttered angrily. "You think slaver pirates are bad? If you knew what Nassana was really like, you wouldn't have listened to her request at all." The asari mumbled, a slight growl entering her voice, her features becoming slightly twisted and foul. "Frankly, being a sex slave for some scumbag on Omega's preferable to having to listen to Nassana and her endless Social Darwinism speeches."

"Wow, you REALLY hate her guts?" Shepherd inquired, looking rather surprised as Liara glanced from Dahlia to the other pirates, all of whom seemed to be looking right at Dahlia with apt attention. More importantly, the way they were looking at her was quite different from how they looked at the asari captain sitting across from them. The "guard" behind her wasn't even holding the shotgun up anymore. It all felt…off…somehow.

Wait.

Wait a minute. What if…

"Oh, you've no idea." Dahlia mumbled as she folded her arms across her chest, "harrumphing", Garrus having already cracked the ventilation system. The grates to the system were now wide open in the control room and Grey had already approached it, clearing his throat as they downed their respective pills.

"It's time to put phase two into action." Grey whispered.

Welcome! Sulfur dioxide! Hello! Carbon Monoxide!

The air, the aaaaair is everywheeeeere!

Breathe deep, while you sleep, breathe deep!

DEEP! DEEP-DA-DEEP!

And as he sang, gas began to slink out from his mouth, sweeping into the ventilation system like a serpent, snaking out and filling the room. In fact, the gas was already beginning to take effect, the pirate guards in the room shaking their heads slightly, muttering a bit, coughing slightly.

"Good thing you took that pill we had in the chocolate bar, Ms. Dantius." Shepherd remarked as he leaned back in his chair, smiling broadly as the asari captain blinked stupidly back at him, Dahlia's eyes widening.

"Pills? For what?"

"For the gas."

"Gas? Oh please, what are you, some kind of Blasto the Spectre viiiiiillaaaaaiiii-"

THWUMP-THWUMP-THWUMP-THWUMP-THWUMP-THWUMP-THWUMP. All of the pirates collapsed in a heap, Shepherd turning on his communicator as Liara stood up and walked around to each pirate, quickly putting handcfuffs on them from her pocket pouch as Dahlia nervously glanced at the exit. "Alright, we've got her. Filter out the gas, we just want them knocked out, and we'll begin going through the facility to see what they've got." He remarked before turning to Dahlia as Liara made her way to the doorway in the back.

"Well. I suppose I should thank you." Dahlia remarked as Liara opened up the door and took notice of a datapad on a nearby desk before a computer screen, holding the datapad up, eyes widening. Wait. WAIT A MINUTE. She quickly accessed the computer as Dahlia put a hand on her chest. "How can I ever repay you?" She inquired, Shepherd smiling a bit as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"All in a day's work for a Spectre."

"There's a few lovely weapon upgrades upstairs, I'm sure these idiots won't mind you helping yourself to them." Dahlia said as she gestured at the stairway, Shepherd turning and heading in its direction…Dahlia pulling a pistol of her own and grinning darkly, sneaking behind him as Liara quickly barreled out of the back room.

"SHEPHERD, SHE'S THEIR BOSS!" She roared out, her body glowing a bright blue as a wave of psychic energy launched forward and SLAMMED into Dahlia, making her drop the pistol and sending her flying into several crates as Shepherd gasped in surprise, wheeling around.

"What the?!" Shepherd asked, Liara holding up a datapad in her hand.

"She was blackmailing her sister! The pirates didn't pick her up, she sold out the crew of the ship she was on and worked her way to the top! She's the head slaver, and she was going to blackmail Nassana. If word got out Nassana Dantius's sister was a slaving pirate that had milked her of thousands of credits, Nassana would be ruined! So of COURSE she would have paid anything to keep it quiet when it came to what her sister REALLY was!"

"She was working with them the whole time?" Shepherd growled, wheeling on Dahlia…having to dive away as she launched her own biotic blast his way, Dahlia growling angrily.

"Damn you! I would have gotten ALL that money AND your ship if not for your stupid shenanigans…" She hissed out. "All I'd have to do was keep having Nassana hire stupid idiots to come and pay off ransoms…but NOOO, you had to find out the truth and knock my comrades out. Fine by me…I'll just wipe you ALL out here and now!" She roared, Dahlia holding her hands in the air as potent blue biotic power swirled around her palms.

Shepherd rolled out of the way, avoiding a shockwave from Dahlia's palms as Liara focused her power, a large crate full of stolen goods hovering in the air along with several others, shooting at Dahlia. Dahlia dove to the side, avoiding them as Liara fired off some more crates, Shepherd pulling out his pistol and firing at the slaver queen as well. Dahlia just smirked, clenching her fist tightly as a biotic shield became erected around her and she pulled out an assault rifle from an opened crate nearby.

"We need backup down here!" Shepherd roared out over the communicator before the door to the front entrance nearby was blasted open and Dahlia barely rolled out of the way, Kaiden and Wrex stepping forward.

"Knock, knock!" The Krogan wisecracked as Wrex charged at Dahlia, slamming into her and sending her flying through the air. She struck the wall, gasping in pain and sliding down it as Wrex let out a loud laugh. "ROOM SERVICE!"

"You got through the guards outside?" Shepherd asked.

"They're all in La-La Land now. Almost made me break a sweat. But being invisible helped a LOT. Wore off just when we reached the front door. Those idiots in the sniper towers probably don't know anybody else got inside."

"Won't THEY be in for a surprise?" Shepherd chuckled darkly as Dahlia tried to get up only for Kaiden and Liara to fire off two powerful biotic bolts. The blazing blue strikes slammed into Dahlia, knocking her clear through the wall and into the room behind her and she collapsed in a broken heap, moaning in agony, chunks of wall and locker all around her. Shepherd approached the near-unconscious slaver, rubbing his chin, looking down at AAAAALLLL the credits that had spilled out from the burst-open lockers.

"You thinking what I'M thinking?" Wrex asked. "Be a shame to let all this go to waste."

"I'm thinking THEY'RE not going to need it anymore." Shepherd reasoned. "But what're we going to do about Dahlia and her slavers? Is the plan to still just turn them in to C-Sec?"

"We should turn Dahlia over to her sister. I'm sure it would be quite the meeting." Liara mused aloud.

"No…" Dahlia growled out, struggling to get to her feet. "She'd…have me…tortured…killed. Y-you won't take me." She hissed, holding up something she swiftly pulled out of a pocket of her own. "I've got my own pill!"

"Oh no you-" Shepherd began to say, racing forward only for Dahlia to knock him back with a sweep of her arm, a biotic wave forcing him away from her as she swallowed the pill, panting, face beaming with pride.

"I end things on MY terms. Nobody tells a Dantius what to do." Dahlia said proudly before she let out a horrific hacking sound, falling to her knees, collapsing in a heap on the floor as Shepherd cringed, shaking his head back and forth as Wrex "harrumphed", Kaiden frowning abit as Liara sighed quietly.

"So much for that…at least we can hold these others accountable for what they've done." Shepherd mumbled as he looked the unconscious slavers over. "…and I think I know how I want them to be brought in. They can be treated the same way they treated their slaves…"

…

…

…

… "The Citadel Security is gonna have one hell of a surprise for them, huh?" Kaiden mused aloud as he put the finishing touches on their prisoners.

"Indeed. Now I know it's TEMPTING, but don't put any of their hands on the other's body parts in humorous-" Shepherd began to say before stopping himself and then rubbing his chin, a thoughtful look coming to his face before putting one slaver's head in a VERY humorous position over another slaver's body.

"SHEPHERD." Liara remarked. "For shame."

"Indeed. You need to be more creative." Lucas remarked, the requisitions officer kneeling by another slaver with a marker, drawing a gigantic penis on the asari's cheek with a giggle as Shepherd nodded in approval, joining the others and exiting the brig as the PDA system cracked on.

"We've got a call from Admiral Hackett!"

"He's an ADMIRAL now, huh?" Grey mused aloud as Shepherd glanced at the others.

"Alright. Put him on."

"Shepherd. We've got some trouble. You're currently in the Hawking Eta cluster, according to your pilot."

"Yes, we've heard about someone named "Major Kyle", who's appealing to biotics to visit some kind of commune?" Shepherd informed the gravelly-voiced commander of the Alliance Navy.

"Indeed. He's on Presrop, the moon of Klendagon in the Century Sytem of Hawking Eta. And unfortunately, Major Kyle has been suffering from great issues. He's a former marine who was stationed at Torfan. He led his men bravely and performed exceptionally well, but we found he was suffering from post-traumatic-stress-disorder. We discharged him and he went his own way and was supposed to be checking in regularly for medical treatment, however…" Admiral Hackett trailed off, a cringe in his voice.

"However, what?" Shepherd asked.

Admiral Hackett sighed in deep regret. "He set himself up as "Father Kyle" and created that commune. He's been appealing to fellow biotics like himself and saying that "all children of the biotic way" are welcome. We'd sent two officers to try and speak to him, but…they never returned." His voice intoned over the PDA. "We're afraid he or his followers may have murdered them. Can you do something?"

"I'll do everything I can, sir." Shepherd remarked. "Joker, get us to that moon and lets try to find out what went wrong."

And indeed, it wasn't long before Joker was dropping them off at the barren, cold, bitter moon of Klendragon. At a surface temperature of below 73 degrees Celsius with a thin atmosphere of carbon dioxide and ethane, there wouldn't be no nonchalant romping around. Even in their suits, they could faintly feel a chill as they glanced around the moon, glancing at each other as Shepherd stood by the MAKO and looked across the plains. The commune compound was off in the distance, a small station in front of the large facility, which was stationed by several large storage tanks behind it, and obvious scouts were peering out from within.

The whole place had an ominous feel to it. The soft orange glow of Klendragon above cast an eerie, otherworldly light over the dark, metal-rich texture of Presrop's surface as Shepehrd nodded at his crew. "Be on your toes." He informed them as they approached the small, disc-shaped scout station at the front of the compound, the commander at the front. They glanced left and right…no sniper towers, no gun turrets. They were safe from the looks of it. At least, so far. Shepherd knocked on the door, the scout's voice coming into their suit's communication systems from a short-range transmitter on the other side, standard practice with all buildings placed in the vacuum of space. "What do you want? What are you doing here? This is a private sanctuary, we don't take kindly to outlanders."

"We're here to speak to Major Kyle." Shepherd informed them calmly. The scouts murmured amongst each other, speaking in hushed whispers as Garrus glanced in his direction. "It's important."

"If they've done what the Alliance thinks they've done, they could all be in trouble. Nobody but criminals like cop killers." The Turian murmured dangerously.

"Father Kyle wants nothing more to do with the Alliance." Another scout behind the door remarked angrily.

"Look, I want this to end peacefully. If you don't let me see him, people could be hurt. I'm trying to prevent-" Shepherd began to say.

"We won't let you take Father Kyle away!" The first scout screamed back. "He protects us! We NEED him!"

"LISTEN TO ME!" Shepherd roared back, the scouts being silenced, his tone becoming powerful, authoritative, mighty. "He will get you all killed if he asks you to fight on his behalf. I'm trying to prevent that! You want him to live? You want YOU to live? Then let me talk to him. Just…talk. That's all. But I'm only giving you once chance. Because if you don't take my offer, we WILL come in through force. Is that really what you want? Do you really want to die today?"

Silence. For what seemed to be many, many minutes. And then…

A faint whisper.

"…no. We'll tell the others to let you in." The second scout murmured. "…you'll get full clearance. Father Kyle will speak with you."

A few minutes later, the formerly-red light by the front entrance of the main compound facility was now bright green, and Shepherd and his crew were walking inside, heading into the main hall. Shepherd and the others took their helmets off once within, the other biotics inside all wearing similar clothing, deep blue and orange attire, watching them intently.

"Evening." Shepherd remarked.

"You're not going to hurt Father Kyle, are you?" One of them nervously inquired. "I mean, everyone looks at us like we're freaks just because we have biotics. He understands us. Really understands." She admitted.

"I'm biotic myself." Kaiden said, putting a hand up and focusing as a soft blue flame danced around in his palm, swirling about before their eyes. "And an L2."

All of them gasped. "Ohhhhh!"

"L2!"

"L2! HERE!"

"Oh dear. Poor thing."

"We feel your pain, brother."

"L…2?" Shepherd inquired, blinking slightly in confusion. "What's that, exactly?"

"I'll tell you about it later, Shep, its…kind of my cross to bear, y'know?" Kaiden admitted, tapping the side of his head and giving a wan smile as the biotics led them through the main hall, past rows and rows of storage crates and other containment units.

"Sheesh, all of these buildings have the same kind of design. I wish DEM would splurge a bit more on making the insides look more varied." Ashley admitted as she looked around the enormous hall. Sure enough, yes, it looked exactly the same as the facility the pirates had been using. Big, large walls…sliding doors…grey grated floors…thick grey metal shelves to hold clothes and weapons in the back…even the same colored lightbulbs for the stairway. The stairway which was also to the far left of the room, leading up to a single floor above.

"Not very imaginative, that's for sure." Liara remarked.

"Deus Ex Machina Industries isn't known for being "imaginative". Its known for strong and sturdy and reliable construction." One of the biotics remarked with a wave of his hand, leading them to the red-and-white-clothed Father Kyle, a single "strip" goatee across his chin along with a fine, light brown moustache. He nodded at them all, gesturing for them to follow him down the hallway, another hand held up, keeping his biotic followers back.

"We must speak in private. I believe the secondary facility will be of use for this purpose? It's underground, beneath the scout station, so we can talk freely." He remarked, heading for a tunnelway door which he opened up for them. The doors slid open with a WOOSH as they walked inside, across long transparent aluminum tubes that showed off the rich mineral deposits about them, big red crates stacked around the silver/grey rooms within. There were shelves loaded with food and drinks all around as Father Kyle led them to a back room, sitting in a chair by a desk in an apparent control room which housed currently unactive automated defenses.

"We appreciate you not turning those on us." Shepherd remarked as Father Kyle nodded, the others sitting down on benches and beds nearby, Shepherd looking the crew-cut-having man over. The major's slight monotone was…somewhat unnerving. It was as if he was in the middle of a self-induced trance.

"I know why you've come. But we've no quarrel with you. Can't you leave us alone?" Kyle inquired of Shepherd with a raised eyebrow.

"Where are the alliance officers who came to visit you? The ones who were here before me?" Shepherd wanted to know.

"They sought to take me away from here. To abandon this place and my family! It was blasphemy!" Kyle insisted firmly, holding his hands up, shaking his head back and forth. "No, no, no, no, no. I couldn't have that. I did what I could to make their end quick and painless. I had no other choice. I had to protect my children. Only I can keep them safe."

"Ohhhh. Major Kyle, this…this is not good. I was hoping you hadn't done that…" Shepherd muttered, pinching the space between his eyes, shaking his head back and forth as he paced about. "Oh no, oh NO. Don't you realize this has gotten way out of hand? You're endangering your followers!"

"I respect you came under the banner of peace, but I cannot do as you ask." Father Kyle protested, his tone becoming slightly more…panicked. "If you take away their father, my children will be helpless."

"They're not chi-LOOK." Shepherd said, letting out a deep sigh, biting into his lip. He was really, REALLY trying to go easy on the man. He understood Father Kyle wasn't in his right mind, that he was suffering, that he was filled with survivor's guilt-

Wait. That was it. That was it!

Shepherd gently put a hand on the major's shoulder, speaking comfortingly and calmly, giving him a soft nod. "Kyle, listen. Please. I know you feel you failed on Torflan. And because of that…you feel you need to protect THESE people. That you can't fail a second time. To you, this is your second chance, and you don't want it taken from you. You want to get it right. You want to provide for them in the way you couldn't for your former crew."

"I…I just…"

"But life isn't about being shielded from the hard things. It's about responsibility and consequences. You ordered your followers to kill those Alliance Officers, didn't you? You need to take responsibility for that so that your children don't suffer for your mistakes."

"No! Please!" Kyle begged, holding Shepherd's hand, eyes bugged out wide in horror. "Please, don't hurt them! My children are pure!"

"Talk to your children, Father Kyle. Tell them you have to take responsibility for what you did. This is how you really care for those under your command…you act as an inspiration. You show them what they're meant to be like. You do the right thing. Now…" Shepherd looked deep into Major Kyle's brown eyes, his tone firm, yet comforting. "…you know what the right thing is. Are you going to do it?"

"…Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy." Father Kyle murmured.

"Proverbs. 28:13." Ashley spoke up. "Good to see you remembered that." She admitted as she smiled warmly at him.

"Let me have an hour with my children. Then I'll surrender peacefully. You have my word." Major Kyle said, putting a hand on his chest as Shepherd nodded.

"Fair enough. Ashley, Kaiden, can you two stay behind and make sure Father Kyle isn't hurt by any of his followers when he tries to leave? They may get violent when he tries to explain the situation." Shepherd reasoned.

"We'll be happy to help." Kaiden insisted with a nod, looking over at Ashley as she saluted.

"Sir, yes, sir! Don't you worry, we'll have this all cleared up."

…

…

…

…Father Kyle Kallagren was soon getting off the Normandy, chatting it up with Ashley and Kaiden about the Raid of Torflan. Needless to say, it was clearly doing the man wonders to get everything off his chest, and he was speaking at a mile a minute whilst Shepherd and the rest of the crew kept an eye on the cloaked-and-hooded captured pirate slavers they had. It hadn't taken too long to reach the Citadel and now, after explaining the situation over the communications channels, they were ready to hand over the Artemis Tau 10 over to Executor Pallin. Or rather, the Artemis Tau NINE since Dahlia Dantius was no longer among the living. Admiral Hackett stood nearby, extending a hand to Father Kyle and heartily shaking the man's hand as he gave him a pat on the back.

"You saved a lot of lives, Shepherd. I'm glad it didn't end in violence." Hackett admitted with a calm nod as the Executor looked the cloaked and hooded pirates over, an invisible eyebrow raised. His fellow C-Sec officers glanced about at each other as Shepherd nodded at Tali, who held a small remote up, the officers realizing all of the slavers had on unusual neck collars around them.

"What, pray tell, is THAT?" Executor Pallin inquired. "Did you decide to give them slave collars like they'd put on their victims? And where's their leader?"

"Their leader, Ms. Dahlia, according to these clowns, wouldn't go quietly and committed suicide. We're dropping her body off later. But we figured that these nine deserved a little cruel and unusual punishment after all they've done." Shepherd remarked. "And after what I saw of their disgusting extranet ads for slave labor, they're getting off easy."

"The attire is holographic. The only thing they've got on now…are their birthday suits!" Grey said with a laugh as he held something up in the air, Tali pressing a button on the remote she had and with a WHUMP…no more clothes! The slavers were now stark naked, hands held over their privates, a deep blush of absolute embarrassment on their features as Grey waved their actual clothes above his head with Garrus and Wrex.

"Come on! Let us pledge allegiance to their pants." Grey proclaimed.

IMMEDIATELY everyone in the C-Sec lobby stopped what they were doing, gaping at the sight, mouths hung open as if wanting to catch flies. Gasps and murmurs filled the area, the C-Sec officers almost dropping their weapons in shock. Executor Pallin glanced from the slavers to Shepherd, who was grinning from ear to ear with the biggest s—t eating grin the Turian had ever seen.

"Is that a dick on her face?" He asked of one of the slavers, pointing at a drawn penis on the cheek of one of the slavers.

"Yep. That was our requisition officer's work." Shepherd sighed. "Aren't laundry markers great?"

"…I've never seen anything so dirty, devious, clever, ironic and fiendishly creative. Have you EVER considered a career in politics?" Executor Pallin wanted to know, slightly tilting his head to the side as Shepherd rubbed the back of his neck.

"I can't shoot anyone in politics."

"Evidently you've never been to MY planet." Wrex snorted.

"Try to go a LITTLE easy on them, though." Grey asked gently, jabbing a thumb at the slavers as the unmistakable clicka-clicka-click of cameras rang through the lobby, everybody taking photographs with their omni-tools and communicators. "Pictures of their backside will go viral in ten seconds. Nobody will ever let them forget this. It's hard to think of a worse punishment."

"Hard, but not IMPOSSIBLE…" Executor Pallin mused aloud. "Still, they're so pathetic I might JUST go easy on them. But, uh…next time…don't bring any criminals in naked. I'll have to fill out considerably more paperwork now."

Giving him a nod, Shepherd turned around, seeing the Council was standing at the stairway, flanked with guards. They'd been on their way to see the captain in person to inquire about Ms. T'Soni, but now they just stood there, gaping in shock.

"…can we help you?" Grey asked.

"…WE'RE not the ones who need help." The Turian ambassador remarked at last, the Salarian ambassador looking over one of the Krogan slavers's chest.

"Hmm. One's an innie, ones an outie."

The Asari councilor slapped him in the face. Twelve C-Sec officers, ten Alliance Soldiers and fifteen guards couldn't restore order after that.

"If it means seeing that look on their faces again, maybe we should bring MORE criminals in naked." Joker remarked, looking over the extranet footage of the incident in his chair, chuckling at the sight as funny music played over the remixed video.

"If it means seeing any of them get slapped, maybe we should." Shepherd chuckled.

He was kidding, of course.

…but remember…he was kidding on the square.